Tattooed, Tested, and Touring - Glitter Doesn’t Survive Burnout
- PRSL
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
Tour photos with Wheatus, The Dollyrots, and Not Greenday featuring Keep Flying in all three
It’s been a minute since I’ve sat down to write a blog. If I’m being honest, it’s also been a minute since I’ve felt genuinely passionate or motivated. The past couple weeks, I’ve been running on autopilot. The events that fueled my last blog hit harder than I expected and I needed to be in my feelings.
The time off the road was… necessary. Not optional. Not a luxury. Not a vacation. I basically needed to do my favorite IT CROWD quote - "Have you tried turning it on and off again? I let myself reboot".
I don’t think I realized how worn down I had gotten until I finally stopped moving. When you’re constantly in new cities, meeting new people, solving new problems, you don’t notice how much you’re carrying. You just keep lifting. And then one day you put it all down, and your body goes, oh… this is what it feels like to not be in survival mode.
Running everything that comes with Punk Rock Saves Lives has kept me in that survival mode for a long time and I’ve started to notice what that’s done to me. There was a time people described me as glittery. As a light in a dark room. And if I’m being real...that version of me has felt far away for a while now. Years of constant stress, constant hurdles, constantly needing to push forward. The idea the show must go on...it changes you. It’s put me in a version of myself that feels heavier. Dimmer.
So, I rested. Actually rested. I did things that felt like me again. Actually Tina fun, not work-adjacent fun. I think people romanticize this life a lot. Being on the road, around music, watching bands every night. And yeah, there are moments that feel like that. But the truth is, this was never some carefree dream for me.
It’s work. Constant work.
(Tina things always includes friends and some kind of theatrical element. I was very fortunate to have a day with friends, dress up as a flapper, and see Beverly Hills - a soap opera written by a 13 year old)
The kind you don’t get to shut off because there is no 9–5. There’s no clocking out. No leaving it at the door. It comes with me everywhere. I have panic attacks a couple times a week when new hurdles hit. I’m anxious more often than I’m not. I’ve already driven over 10,000 miles this year, and my body feels every single one of them. There’s a grind to this life that people don’t see. The part behind what can look glamorous from the outside.
Most people get some version of work-life balance. If I’m being real… I mostly just have work, with small moments where I try to shake off the heaviness. And even in those moments, the outside world can be so loud telling me I shouldn’t slow down, shouldn’t step away, shouldn’t choose myself for a second. Apparently when you make your work about helping others, you are not allowed to live for yourself even for that moment.
So I let myself be quiet. I let myself not show up at 100% for everyone else every single day. I still handled the behind-the-scenes work like the emails, the logistics, the things that keep everything moving but I gave myself permission to not be “on” all the time. I even worked an event in Las Vegas, and weirdly, that helped. It reminded me why I care so much in the first place. And having the support of our volunteers and board members? That made it feel a little less heavy. A little less like I’m carrying it all alone.
I’m not “fixed.” Not magically healed. Just… better. Lighter. A little more like myself again. If you have talked to me over the last month, you would have seen how beaten down I was. Which is WAY TOO early in the year for that. And I needed that more than I wanted to admit.
Because here’s the truth, this life we’ve built with Punk Rock Saves Lives is beautiful. But it’s also heavy. We’re holding space for people in some of their hardest moments. We’re showing up in loud rooms having quiet conversations about mental health, harm reduction, and survival. It matters. It always will. We grew so damn fast that I am playing major catch up with getting a better infrastructure while still actively driving and activating.
But even the people holding space need space. And this break reminded me of that.
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Ok....now that you got my mental health status. Let's move on to what is next! We are going to be out on tour with The Toadies, Anberlin, Yellowcard, and Lords of Acid. Come see some of our people near you. We have people doing events constantly and you too can volunteer with this link
And I’m rolling into this one differently with the knowledge that I am very much still on the edge. Not forcing myself to push through just to get to the next city. But trying, really trying, to hold onto this version of myself that I’ve started to find again. The one that breathes a little deeper. The one that doesn’t feel like she’s constantly bracing for impact.
I want to do this run with intention. But I also know myself.
I know how easy it is to slip back into old patterns. To go right back into survival mode. To give everything I have to everyone else and forget to check in with myself along the way.
So this time, I’m asking for something I don’t always ask for.
I need people.
If you’re coming out to these shows, I would really love to see you. Not in a surface-level, quick “hey, grab a sticker and keep moving” kind of way. I mean in a real way. Come say hi. Come stand at the table for a minute. Tell me about your life. Tell me something good, something hard, or honestly...nothing at all. Just exist there for a second. Invite me to park in front of your house for the night. Have hotel points? Send some my way so the dogs and I can enjoy some AC. Do you love talking to people? Please volunteer so I can take a couple of hours to be "off" at the table.
Friendly faces matter more than you probably realize right now. This work is beautiful, but it can be heavy. And the moments that stick with me the most aren’t just the numbers or the impact stats, they’re the human ones. The quick conversations. The shared laughs. The feeling of not being alone in it.
So if you see the Punk Rock Saves Lives table at a Yellowcard show, please come find me.
Be one of those moments.
Be one of those reminders.
Because I have a feeling this next run is going to ask a lot out of me… but I also think it could give a lot back.
And I want to be open enough to actually feel that this time.
XOXO Tina
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